It's been a cold winter with lots of snow and ice. Still we managed to make a family trip to Kingston, NY to build momentum for a pending move this summer. While Kunkletown has been a refuge for our parental initiation, I cannot see this next phase of integrating parenthood with "being myself again", happening in the rural sprawl of Monroe county. Yes there are hubs and wonderful initiatives but I never realized how much I thrive on culture, history and proximity. In other words I've become bored of my hermitage here and have been a lone flickering flame looking for other fragments of a burning fire I've only begun to come to know. An odd kinship I've felt before has gone missing. The inspiration here is different than that which makes me tick. Hudson Valley is a place that feels familiar and upbeat, a place I've always wandered to for growth, inspiration, and fun. Life should be fun, quirky…a bit off center. Art, style, design makes sense to me, its purpose aligns with my own desire for self-expression — to be another beacon for the poetics of our psychological disarray and warm, chattering light. Finally I have felt the license to pursue what makes me happy, funnily enough "pursue your happiness" was a long time slogan on the PA welcome sign and only recently has been changed. --- **2026-02-23** For a long time now I have felt stuck. Caged inside some creative purgatory that has required way too much effort to free myself from. Between the incessant distractions of today's media, the dependencies to substances I've only strengthened over the past few years, and the gnawing financial pressures of modern life, making progress towards my creative goals and business ventures has been a narrow slough. The more my mind juggles doomsday headlines, stock market volatility, and Instagram reel stars the more I wave my white flag in defeat. I know I can carve my own way, but I need to be brave. I need to be more expressive, more willing to fall on my face, answer to conflict, catch others off-guard and just stand behind the messy process of figuring it out. I've been doing that more but it's still behind a privacy wall, still 'not ready', still crystallizing. Damn this slow burn is starting to be detrimental rather than diligent.