# Memoir In 2012 I was twenty-three and restless inside my suburban life. I'd been meditating for two years, reading Buddhist texts, and biking to hidden ponds on Staten Island to sit alone. That fall I told my grandmother I was going to California. She didn't understand why. I'm not sure I did either—only that something was asking to be followed. These chapters cover the pilgrimage that followed: a Greyhound bus to Ukiah, a week of silence and chanting at The City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, and the slow revelation that the heaven I thought was in an afterlife was already here, in the quality of attention I brought to a cup of tea, a stranger's generosity, a house that belonged to whoever walked through the door. --- ## Part One: Awakening ### Introduction - [[00 Introduction|Introduction: The Earliest Questions]] ### Childhood & Loss - [[Ch 1 - Church in Childhood|Ch 1: Church in Childhood]] - [[Ch 2 - Dad's Addiction|Ch 2: Dad's Addiction]] ### Awakening - [[Ch 3 - Shedding my Suburban Identity|Ch 3: Shedding My Suburban Identity]] - [[Ch 4 - Peace Rock|Ch 4: Peace Rock]] - [[Ch 5 - Mixing Mud|Ch 5: Mixing Mud]] - [[Ch 6 - Beginning Meditation|Ch 6: Beginning Meditation]] ### Decision - [[Ch 7 - Brian and Emily Rooftop|Ch 7: Brian and Emily Rooftop]] - [[Ch 8 - Mom, I'm Leaving|Ch 8: Mom, I'm Leaving]] - [[Ch 9 - Birthday Fireworks|Ch 9: Birthday Fireworks]] ### Pilgrimage - [[Ch 10 - First Night in Berkeley|Ch 10: First Night in Berkeley]] - [[Ch 11 - Staying With Jade|Ch 11: Staying With Jade]] - [[Ch 12 - Arriving at The City of 10,000 Buddhas|Ch 12: Arriving at CTTB]] - [[Ch 13 - Compassion|Ch 13: Compassion]] - [[Ch 14 - Dharma Revelations|Ch 14: Dharma Revelations]] ### Integration - [[Ch 15 - Leaving the City Behind|Ch 15: Leaving the City Behind]] - [[Ch 16 - Bhikku Bodhi|Ch 16: Bhikku Bodhi]] - [[Ch 17 - The Piedmont House|Ch 17: The Piedmont House]] --- ## Part Two: TBD *To be written*