# Chapter 12: Arriving at The City of 10,000 Buddhas It was a few minutes past 10pm when I arrived in Ukiah. The bus stopped at an arbitrary spot along the highway. When the lights turned on, I thought we had run out of gas. Then the conductor shouted from the front of the bus, "Ukiah! Please remember to take all your belongings with you off the bus." A panic pulsed through me as I looked into the blackness right outside my window. I had no clue where I was, where the City of 10,000 Buddhas would be, or who the hell I was going to talk to in order to ease the sense of estrangement enveloping me. --- ## Lost in the Dark As I walked toward the front of the bus, I asked the conductor, "How do I get to the City of 10,000 Buddhas from here?" "The city of who?" he asked with dismay. "I don't know. Call a cab." I stepped off the bus and saw a row of closed garden supply shops across from me. I could make out the forms of lawnmowers and pots through the shadows beneath the tents. On my side of the road there was a little awning covering a long bench. I guess that was where I was going to wait for a taxi. > [!warning] Isolated > There were miles of darkness expanding out from a small circumference of light generated by a lone streetlamp that myself and the others clung to. --- ## Marty Arrives A rusty red pickup truck with a domed hood slowed up to the waiting area. A long slender man came out. He had a crew cut with a slight hunch to his posture and wore a giddy plaid t-shirt. "You'll coming to the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas? Well come on, hop in. Another ride will be here shortly for those who can't fit in the pick-up." I looked around and saw some hesitation from the others. I stepped forward and into the back seat. A young Asian woman and older gray-haired male decided to come too. "The name's Marty," said the driver. "I'll be one of your guides at the City. I've been living there for the last four years." He maneuvered the stick shift somewhat awkwardly as we came to a stop sign. The drive was only a few miles but it was slow, bumpy, and filled with apprehension. --- ## Faith vs. Fear Faith was my only refuge from panic. I felt a strong sense of trust. A kindness seemed to emanate from the people in the car and I felt that I was probably the most anxious one of the bunch. > [!reflection] Grandfather's Warning > Traveling and relying on other people's generosity was never part of my belief system. From early on, my grandfather always taught me to protect myself from the cunning nature of the rest of humanity. Grandma used to tell a story when my grandfather was a young boy. His mother gave him a dollar to go up the block and purchase a bunch of bananas. This was the early 1950s, mind you, and bananas would sell for a nickel apiece—if that. When the vendor saw my grandfather as a young boy holding money in his hands, he sensed an opportunity. "Oh, you want some bananas, my boy? Five for a dollar please." "Oh, ok," my grandfather conceded. The vendor handed him the five most overly-ripe of the bunch. When my grandfather came back home with his browned fruit, his mother scolded him. "You dummy, you let that man make a fool of you—stupid." She mocked him. Since that day, my grandfather adopted a new point of view, namely: the world is hostile and out to get you. And never again did he trust anyone, including his own family. --- ## Choosing Trust As I looked at Marty behind the steering wheel, there was a great gentleness about him, like he wouldn't hurt a fly. An easy smile sat on his face, and each maneuver of the wheel he made mindfully and with patience. The instinct inside me was to question his motives while trying to figure out what he was really up to—friending us all in order to make a midnight robbery of our belongings. > [!transformation] New Perspective > Despite these thoughts, I knew better. I was drifting through the California countryside in a tarnished old pick-up in the middle of the night. I had no other choice but to put my life in the hands of Marty and the two other passengers who have journeyed thus far with me. > > My heart could be taking me to the edge of a mountain cliff, and up until the point of the front tires rolling off the edge, I would stay. I was cultivating a new perspective of my fellow humans that had to do with trust, love, and generosity. --- ## Sharing I reached into my backpack and pulled out a small bag of cashews. Even though it was the only food I had left, I felt compelled to share. "Anyone want some cashews?" I offered. "Oh, please... I'm starving," the woman in the backseat replied. "Me too," said the gray-haired man. Marty declined and I emptied the bag into the receiving hands of the others. The three of us munched away as Marty continued driving down the dark highway. --- ## The Gates Fifteen minutes later we came to the front gates of CTTB. The air outside was chilly and peaceful. The steady quiet calmed the nervousness still lingering from my initial fright getting off the bus. Big dragon statues sat on the pillars of the gate. As we entered, I looked around but could only make out vague shapes and shadows. I couldn't really tell what the grounds looked like or how wide the land stretched for. We drove another 5 minutes or so through the City before coming to a small hut sitting under a lamppost. The door was open and an Asian woman stepped out to welcome us inside. The woman had a round face, with clear pale skin and no make-up. She smiled at each of us upon entering. --- ## Check-In The hut was an office where paperwork was filed from visitors and any money exchanges were made. It cost me $140 bucks to stay for seven days. Others chose to do a work exchange—in that case the room was free for the week and in return one would help out with chores, either on the farm, in the kitchen, or anywhere else on the grounds that required maintenance. I chose to pay the $140. I handed her cash and she gave me a key in return. "Go out the door, make a right and walk toward the men's dormitory. You'll be staying in room six and your roommate has already checked in. Here, take blanket." She handed me a plaid wool blanket inside nylon netting. "Thank you," I said. --- ## First Night I walked out and toward my room. A cool air whispered by my nose, cutting through the dank humidity. Beyond the roofs of the small village, I could see the silhouettes of tall mountains sitting still under the moonlight. My footsteps were the only sound that occupied my thinking mind. I came across a sidewalk leading to the dorms. Each front door had a little nightlight out front so I could see where I was going. I came to number six and opened the front door with my key. Inside my roommate was already sleeping. The space smelled like musk and timber. I could feel a veil of moisture sit on my skin. I dropped my bags, slipped my clothes off, and changed into light sleep wear. > [!warning] The Itchy Blanket > The wool blanket made me itch like crazy. I must have woken up six or seven times in a scratching fit. I was looking forward to the morning sunrise and the chance to explore the grounds by day, but the night drew on and a sadness came over me that I was so far from the people who loved me. I began to feel like I isolated myself from friends, family, and Staten Island. The foreign faces I had met in the City thus far didn't know who I was. They didn't know anything about me. My sense of identity was shedding fast. > [!heart] Longing > I hoped the new day would bring about hope that I would find myself again, or at least continue to reinvent myself into my own inevitable becoming. --- *Next: [[Ch 13 - Compassion]]