# Chapter 14: Dharma Revelations I met a bunch of wonderful people during the recitation. There was Jasper from Seattle, a tall white man with a long white ponytail. He wore cargo pants, a vest, and a safari-looking hat most days, as if we were in a retreat out in Burma. He spoke slowly and seemed to have some background in the martial arts. We spoke friendly with one another. He had a sensei he followed back in Washington State. Then there was Rachel. Rachel was your typical Bohemian type from central California. She wore long flowing clothes and hair ornaments. Her bushy eyebrows sat on top her shimmering eyes. --- ## Breaking Silence On the second day of the retreat, I had decided I would take a vow of silence throughout the seven days. So I wore a badge on my chest letting the other participants know. Rachel met me at random on the porch outside the campus library and attempted to strike up conversation... "Hey there, where are you from?" I turned toward her with my lips zipped and smiling. "Oh!, sorry," she exclaimed. "I didn't see your badge there." I desperately wanted to talk, especially since I had already done the whole silent retreat thing just two months ago. "Oh this?" I said. "Nevermind. I thought silence would be a good idea but most people in our group are taking the talking approach." "Yeah, a lot of interesting people here. Friendly. I really like talking, haha." Her cheeks started blushing. From that moment on, I took my badge off and decided on a different approach to the retreat and the people in it. --- ## Doug Powers Each day after lunch, the lay students would go to the study hall for a class on Buddhist Philosophy led by Doug Powers. Doug was a radical hippie who happened to make the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas his home for the past decade. He practiced under the founder Hsuan Hua back in the late sixties. > [!quote] Doug's Story > He tells the story like so: > > "Me and my hippie friends got into our van, you know, one of those Volkswagen Westfalia vans all the hippies drove in the sixties, and we decided to make our way up to Ukiah. We heard some Asian master was teaching Buddhism up there, so we naturally wanted to meet the sage. > > "I remember meeting Hsuan Hua and he knew our game right off the bat—all those psychedelic drugs, and wanting to be free and all. We had renounced society and all the consumerism going on in our time, the war and what not. And let me tell you, I was free! I was one free hippie driving around doing what I wanted. My mind was up in space most of the time. > > "Then Hsuan Hua said to me: 'You think you're free? Do you really think you're free? I tell you what, let's see who's more free, me or you, because I bet I'm freer than you.' > > "'Yeah right,' I thought. Not this pompous Chinese sage with his robe and all. So we sat in meditation, and for a week we sat in meditation. And I realized I had a long way to go toward freedom and that man, Hsuan Hua, was more free than them birds up in the sky. This man was immovable and I knew I was going to stay and become his disciple because I wanted what he had." --- ## Hsuan Hua Hsuan Hua's pictures were all over the City. Stories about his spiritual powers would spread throughout our group, like controlling his body temperature in extreme cold, or being able to read a person's mind. He would sit in meditation for months with little movement, just some food and a small amount of sleep. Back in 1972, Hsuan Hua embarked on his own pilgrimage: a march of 3 steps-bow from Los Angeles all the way to Ukiah. The march took three months. The master and his followers marched each and every day during the three-month journey through the slums of L.A. and up through the grape groves of Marin. At times the street life of the more urban centers harassed Hsuan Hua and company, but the monk only showed compassion for the ignorant as he continued on his way toward his destination while praying for the liberation of all beings. > [!quote] Hsuan Hua's Wisdom > He went on to write in one of his books: > > *Being able to do what is troublesome* > *is true action.* > > *Being able to bear the unbearable* > *is true forbearance.* > > *Being able to practice the difficult* > *is true cultivation.* > > *Being able to take what is unpleasant* > *is true endurance.* --- ## The Legacy The City was a truly inspiring place to be in and the history and legacy of Chinese Buddhism was rich and authentic. It was Hsuan Hua's mission to bring the Buddhist teachings of the East to America and in his efforts he built the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas, founded the Dharma Realm University, and a publishing cohort determined to translate ancient texts into English—making the teaching widely available for the public. --- ## Spike's Questions Amongst the other participants at the retreat was Spike—a friendly Italian man who was being introduced to Buddhism for the first time by his wife Angela, who already had a relationship with CTTB. Spike had a thin mustache and a big head of curls. Whenever I looked at him he always met my eyes with a wide smile that would wrinkle the sides of his eyes. At our lunchtime gatherings with Doug, Spike was relentless in trying to stump the old hippie. In one case, Doug was expounding the main teachings of non-desire: "See, when we reach a state of desireless-ness we are free from suffering. Desire is suffering. Suffering is desire!" Doug was getting riled up by his own insight. Spike raised his hand anxiously, posing the following question: "But doesn't that mean that you need to desire non-desire in order to reach that state? I mean, there needs to be a desire for freedom and desire to not desire anything anymore. So how do you go about that?" > [!wisdom] The Raft Analogy > Doug was nodding his head as if he heard that question in every other recitation at some point or another. It is a good question and part of the answer lies in accepting paradoxes that our rational mind can't make sense of. Doug does offer another, hopefully satisfying explanation: > > "Yes, but one must start with the desire for liberation and then use his raft to cross the river to the other side. When he reaches the other side he disposes his raft because he no longer needs it." Spike had his hand on his chin, furrowing his eyebrows, pondering Doug's response which was mildly satisfying but still left Spike incomplete. --- ## Realms of Existence At one point during our lunchtime discussions, we started talking about the multiple realms of existence that range from heaven to hell. As a Catholic, I always considered these different realms to be destinations for the soul in the afterlife and that I must make the most of my time on earth to make sure I get into heaven so I could rest in eternal happiness. For when ever would I really get to rest?! The thought of eternal damnation was a horrible thought that would put me in a cold sweat on the nights I went to bed worried if I had committed one too many sins that day. Now I found myself in a conversation about reincarnation—numerous past lives that led to this moment and numerous lives to be lived until Nirvana, where the cycle of birth and death would finally cease and one would be absorbed into nothingness. The thought was radical to my traditionalist views of a monotheistic god passing judgment on my soul. And what was this state of nothingness? Doesn't my soul exist forever? These thoughts were startling and refreshing. But what blew my mind most was something Doug said at the beginning of one of his lectures. --- ## This Is Heaven We had all just arrived from the dining hall and were sitting in quiet conversation waiting for Doug to begin. A few of us were stirring hot tea prepared by one of the nuns. The sun was shining in through the windows, illuminating the white classroom. Doug walked toward the front of the room and opened his lecture with the following remark: > [!magic] The Revelation > "Don't you all see. This is heaven. Sitting here sipping tea and talking about the Dharma. This is a heavenly realm, my friends. There are many other places we could be, but we're here! We're here discussing the mysteries of the universe and how to achieve liberation for ourselves and all beings. We're here chanting Guan Yin's name. For now, it's heaven. Right here is heaven. > > "But it's changing. Always changing in and out of different realms. Our actions generating new karmas and leading us to the fruit of our past seeds. It was our past lives that lead us here and each of us share a certain affinity to be here together in this moment and at this time." --- ## Lucidity I looked down at my tea, catching the reflection of my face in the mug. My stomach was full and I felt such a lucid clarity. I didn't have to worry about food. I didn't have to worry about money. I didn't have to worry about my social relationships. > [!heart] Gratitude > I was offered a precious gift to spend those seven days amongst monks, nuns, and dedicated people who wanted a better world. I was here learning about the truth of suffering, the nature of reality, and what it means to be compassionate. All my basic needs of survival were met. > > Past life merit was beginning to be the only way for me to make sense of my fortunate encounter with CTTB. --- ## Doug's Grace Doug always wore the same maroon-colored sweater during his lectures. He had this all-American looking face with scarce gray hair. While he talked about freedom and nirvana, love and compassion, his words were only ancillary to the gentle grace he exuded. --- *Next: [[Ch 15 - Leaving the City Behind]]